apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
