how can u be prego again
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
