We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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