yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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