hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
