i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
