You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
