we're blogging at a bar
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
