He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
