Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize