this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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