I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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