Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
