Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
