In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
