She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize