i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
