One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
