Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
vagina is talking i cant
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
