So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
