Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Dignity is for republicans.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
