i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Never joke about your clitoris.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
