Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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