Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
