sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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