I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize