I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
