This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
