I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
