Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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