How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
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