i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he shaved USA in his pubs
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
