***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
