...so i touched it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
