We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
