shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
