Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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