oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
