You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
