i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
