I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
ugly people sure do ruin things
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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