She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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