he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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