We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
