Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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