quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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