I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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