Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
