I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
