Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
