You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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