We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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