I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
