OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
