i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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