True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize