Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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