just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
