If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
