I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
