I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
