..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
