I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
