this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
