My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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