Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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