i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
