Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.

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(678): View more from Georgia

just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.

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(585): View more from New York

you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it

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(443): View more from Maryland

they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them

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(307): View more from Wyoming

All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet

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(360): View more from Washington

Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.

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