When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
