Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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